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A Weird Day Out
The other day I was driving down the 55 freeway heading towards a shopping
mall called the Triangle Square, when I noticed a white Mercury
Sable in the next lane over. (Sable is French for "black.") When I
got to the end of the freeway in Costa Mesa, I saw a sign that said,
"wanted: clean fill dirt." Then, on the way home, I saw another sign
referring to a wildflower garden. I finally pulled into a Wendy's for a hamburger
where I noticed that the manager’s "Red Book" is a spiral-bound manual with a
green cover.
The Oxymoron List
Just a Word
- backside
- bittersweet
- butthead
- featurette
- reinvent
- spendthrift
- sunshade
- wholesome
Doesn't Compute
- advanced BASIC
- fuzzy logic
- Microsoft Works
- operating system
- virtual reality
- Visual Cobol
Immeasurable
- almost exactly
- first second (of a minute)
- found missing
- loosely packed
- same difference
- second best
- short distance
- 30-minute social hour
- unacceptable solution
High Finance
- banker's trust
- cash surplus
- death benefits
- even odds
- exact estimate
- friendly takeover
- ironclad guarantee
- reciprocal concession
- socialist market economy
- standard deviation
- tax refund
Politically Incorrect
- Central Intelligence Agency
- communist leader
- criminal justice
- European community
- global village
- government organization
- government service
- Great Britain
- house ethics committee
- minor crisis
- modern history
- open secret
- political correctness
- political process
- political science
- politically correct
- resident alien
- temperance party
- United Nations
Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness
- alone together
- awfully good
- bad luck
- cardinal sin
- exercise junkie
- happily married
- hopelessly optimistic
- marijuana initiative
- marital bliss
- parents without partners
- safe sex
- science fiction
- serious fun
- sure bet
On the Job
- business ethics
- extensive briefing
- home office
- industrial park
- job security
- liquid paper
- managed competition
- original copy
- paid amateur
- paid volunteer
- paperless ofice
- personalized form letter
- postal service
- postal worker
- press release
- random order
- work party
- worker's lounge
- working vacation
Can't Tune a Fish
- bagpipe music
- light opera
- live recording
- petite grand piano
- pleasant noise
- rap music
- recorded live
- rock opera
- soft rock
The Art of War
- civil war
- clean fight
- disorderly conduct
- fair fight
- firearms safety
- friendly fire
- holy war
- kick boxing
- military intelligence
- near miss
- nuclear safety
- open fist
- passive aggression
- peace force
- peace offensive
- Peacekeeper missile
- practical joke
- rear admiral
- smart bomb
- stand down
- vice admiral
- war games
Fine Dining
- baked Alaska
- dry wine
- evaporated milk
- freezer burn
- fresh frozen
- hot chili
- icy hot
- jumbo shrimp
- natural additives
- nonalcoholic beer
- nondairy creamer
- open face sandwich
- paper china
- plastic silverware
- sweet pickle
Mother Nature
- clean fill dirt
- extinct life
- great depression
- minor miracle
- plastic wood
- routine emergency
- wildflower garden
That's Entertainment
- classic novel
- classically modern
- guest host
- instant classic
- mainstream art film
- talk show
- tragic comedy
- true story
- TV brightness control
Personifications
- Christian Scientist
- Cowardly Lion
- famous Belgians
- foxy chick
- Hell's Angels
- honest crook
- idiot savant
- light heavyweight
- little giant
- male logic
- man child
- noble savage
- non-working mother
- sharp cookie
- skinny broad
- student teacher
- uncrowned king
- understanding wife
- unsung hero
You Don't Say
- act naturally
- American English
- blank expression
- clearly confused
- conspicuous absence
- deafening silence
- definite maybe
- eloquent silence
- include me out
- intense apathy
- mild enthusiasm
- pronounced silence
- silent scream
- sweet sorrow
Now, That's Sick!
- benign cancer
- cold comfort
- ill health
- living dead
- numb feeling
- vaguely aware
On the Move
- California expressway
- down escalator
- fun run
- make haste slowly
- Mobil station
- mobile home
- motorcycle safety
- non-stop flight
- Plymouth Reliant
- race walking
- rolling stop
- rush hour
- safety hazard
- still moving
One Way of Looking At It
- deliberate thoughtlessness
- fairly dark
- feminine logic
- forgotten memories
- free love
- good grief
- highly underestimated
- least favorite
- nothing much
- old news
- only choice
- positively cynical
- preliminary conclusion
- pretty ugly
- real potential
- self-dependent
- simply confusing
- strangely familiar
- terribly nice
- traditionally radical
- unbiased opinion
Breaking the Laws of Physics
- black light
- chaos theory
- constant change
- dynamic equilibrium
- liquid gas
- mild abrasive
- normal deviation
Dressing to Impress
- barely dressed
- healthy tan
- leisure suit
- loose tights
- partial nudity
- tight slacks
And Another Thing
- action figure
- authentic replica
- front end
- genuine imitation
- homeless shelter
- night light
- plastic canvas
- plastic glasses
- removable sticker
- single-store chain
- split level
- steel wool
- still life
- factory-direct antiques
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